Tough Day In Work

I have been working for one month. My job is tough. I have to finish assigned task before I can go back home. Today, I make a mistake and delete some record in database which is a data repository shared by everybody in my office. People start to trigger the loss of data. I confess myself when I know the data was loss. People were having problem the whole day. I am so sorry. But I didn't apologize to anyone because I have no chance to do that. My boss kept scolding me and kept apologize for me to others. Everyone seem troubled by me. In fact I haven't successfully built up any relationship with my colleagues due to my super heavy workload. I consider it super heavy because I found it is hard and difficult personally.

Today is a bad day, anyhow, I am used to scolding by people all day long. I found apologize useless. People just can't forgive. Some more, I am not very good in apologize. I think I am both pride and shy. Am I a fail product? I shouldn't think this way because this offence the creator. Everybody around me is tough? Or I am simply a failure? Or this is life for everyone? Do you see the reasoning behind this? Everybody making everyone life miserable. That is the reality of our world. I am sorry to ignore the second possibility. ^_^

(Leviticus 19:18) Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.

Pleasure of Serving

Though I am tight by work, I am serving in the house of the Lord too! I am not giving sermon; I am not chairing Sunday service; I am not leading praise and worship; I am not leading a care group. I am merely a ice breaking game master for one care group session only.

I look for a ice breaking game from the Internet, demonstrate the game process and prepare the material. All these took me around 2 hours. And the game session is around 15 minutes. By the grace of God, the game went as planned. People are responsive and open. They get to know some not so famous bible characters. The game serve the purpose of breaking people defensive mind set. The care group session end up with a lot of discussion and interaction between people.

Shaking Mind

Sometimes, it is kind of boring life. I would like a break of my life but it is running like a sport car on the high way. I can't stop it. There are too many thing in my life to be done. I feel like dragging and enslaved by my life. On the other hand, I feel guilty sitting doing nothing. It is a dilemma in my mind. I do not know how to describe the feeling.

I like to shake my leg. This become a bad habit for me. My legs will shaken by itself without my conscious. Sometimes, I just kidding of myself this is going to exercising my legs to circulate my blood. However, when it shaking non-stop, I start to feel tired but tell you what, I can't stop it. It is shaking by itself. Can you imagine how horrible it is when you can't even control your own legs? It continue shaking, you know my mind and my soul are shaking too! My mind and soul are uneasy, it is very messy. My mind and soul are shaken. This is not kidding. Now I know why my parents told me shaking legs is a bad habit. I don't agree and don't understand until now. It is true. And I also understand why God says, "(Psalm 46:10) Be still, and know that I am God."

The Definition of Love

Love is when you are tired and sleeping, you wake up to fetch someone.
Love is when you are tired and wanted to give up, you stand still not to disappointed someone.
Love is when you are sad, you comfort the one who make you sad.
Love is when you can buy a normal meal, you buy 2 cheap meal to share with somebody.
Love is when you are angry, you keep your anger not to hurt others.
Love is when you are wronged, you forgive.
Love is a routine of all these.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

How much you love?