Difficulty in Life

Just a little suffering compare to most of the people around the world to shared. I am lack of money to survive my basic life. I do not step out of my house after work because I have no money to even consume petrol of my car. I choose not to because I want to spare money for food. My heart a little harden in this difficult situation. Though this difficult situation have be with me for year, I put my hope in God because I believe he will not take my life just like that. That is a joke for me if he did. I believe he has his bigger plan on me. He is working on me to achieve big thing. Yes or no? See, my faith is weak. Yes, I believe he prepare something for me to achieve in advance.

He says (Ezekiel 36:30) "I will increase the fruit of the trees and the crops of the field, so that you will no longer suffer disgrace among the nation because of famine."

God's name is so holy and majesty that he will protect his people from disgrace. We as the children of God must not profane his name by complaining about our difficulty. We must put our hope in him and believe he is working on us and will finish his work on us. Always hope.

Moody

What are you doing when you are in bad mood? I am very moody, I tend to keep quiet whenever I am in bad mood. I do not know the reason, or may be I do not want to know the reason. I choose the keep quiet because I do not want to speak harshly and angerily. That way is not good and always hurt people around me. I do not want to hurt people especially people who love me. But I found that it is not the right way. Whenever I keep quiet and be alone, every bad idea come to my mind and ponder me deeply. Finally, I turn to my God Jesus Christ, "Why? Why? Why?" A lot of question pour out from me.

(Job 38:2-4) "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace youself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand."

Let reply God, I have to confess my complaint is without knowledge and I am nothing when God laid the earth's foundation. Then, I found myself as a fool to question God. Hey, God want to say something again, God seem happy today since I seek you when I am moody.

(Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Ok, thank you for your word my God Jesus. I feel better now. I believe in you and I choose to believe your word. It is for my benefit for all things that happen on me. Thank you Jesus. I believe that "In all things God works for the good of those who love him" Remember to love God otherwise this is not apply to you. To love God, we have to believe in his existence and his (Jesus) arisen from death. It is a truth!

Calling

I have to confess, I am a lazy guy. Refuse to do anything, but wish to reap. Recently, looking people put their very effort and hour to pursuit their dream. Someone plan to save money for investment; someone is opening another branch of his business; someone is used mightily by God to built his kingdom; someone is studying earnestly. People around have direction for their dream. Then I ask myself, "What you want to do?". I want to shine in God. But I am not shining in fact. I am dull. What is purpose here? If I die today, any influence to the people around me. Not much actually. I want to do something. To be more specific, I want to do something for God. Then, God prompt me of this, "You can share my faith on Web. But you have to persevere in this. Otherwise, you are just fool my name." Amazingly the enemy is very quiet today. This is because the presence of God is too strong. To share, Jesus Christ is resurrect and arise. I believe it is true. I bet my life for this truth. If it is false, then I have lost my whole life fooling around. Though, I believe, I know it is true.

Please God

How to please God? First I must believe God exist. Do I? Yes, I do. I always talk to him whenever I want to make decision. Most of his opinion or advice contradict with mine. That is where obedience come from. Should I listen to his advice? Of course I should.

I am a quiet person. I don't like to talk especially in public. Yesterday, I went to a christian fellowship group. During bible discussion, I have a lot fo thought want to share with other. My verbal skill is really bad. I always fail to organize my thought before or after I speak. I choose to keep silent. But God says we have to overcome our weaknesses because he is an overcomer. He says 'Say something to encourage my people, your brothers and sisters.' I says 'My God, I am the first time visitor here.' He says 'I am going to be angry with you if you continue to be slumber.' OKOK, I speak out in shaking voice about my faith in him and my determination to please him by encourage one another in my group. I am exhausted afterthat because I am too terrified. I am an overcomer this time but not sure for the less of the day. OKOK, I will try my best.

Headache

I am in pain, constantly pain on my forehead between my eye brows. It is not very painful but it is constantly. What is that? I am paralyzed in the middle of my sleep. I cannot move my body. Is it too tired? I do not do much though. What is the problem with my body. Is it going to rebel against me? Come on, remember you (body) are my slave, do not try to fool yourself. Bear with me. One day I will have a new body in heaven. Am I right, my Lord?

Lost in Book Store

Yesterday, I went to a bookstore near my place. I like book. I enjoy reading very much. but I have problem spending money. I do not know how to spend. Always have a hard time choosing what to spend and how to spend. When I was wandering in the bookstore, I can't decide what book to browse. I am lost and wandering. All books seem expensive. In addition, I have no time reading. I have lost my interest, sad~~~.

Nightmare

I have a nightmare this morning. Something are playing with me, mocking me, threaten me, scold me and control my action in my dream. I am driving a car with no concious. I am extermely frightening. Finally I get out and look for somebody to talk to. I talk to my friend, suddenly he is mocking at me too as a stranger. Too bad. That is a joke. But I am frightening further. I am still in the nightmare. I open my eye, not sure whether I am in reality yet. I start praying to my God Jesus Christ, knowing that he will protect me. He is greater than anything and all powerful and he is good, he will not mock me or frighten me. In him, I slept peacefully. Thanks God for your protection.