Choices

Today is Sunday. After church service, Carmen and I have nothing to do. We went to KFC to have our lunch. During lunch, we have a wonderful conversation worth sharing here. I asked, “Where do you want to go?” She answered, “I don't know.” I said, “We seem very free while all of our friend struggling to gain more money even during weekend.” She agreed, “Yes, we should put some effort to make our life better by working part-time.” “No.” I said, “We will be swallowed by busyness if we do.” In my heart, I think, “Or we are being swallowed by poverty.” What is your choice? Busyness or poverty.

In the world, we have no much choice. Most of the time, all available options are not what we desire. We merely choose the not so bad option. I don't know, I have giving my best during weekday. I need a break during weekend. This way, I am not going to excel in term of any achievement in the world, and I am not really excelling in the service for God either. I am merely living a passive life as a ordinary man. May be God's purpose for me is becoming a ordinary man “successfully”. May be I have to do something more, or people will quote me “The most ordinary man in the world” after I die. Or “The most ordinary Christian in the world”, this one sound better, ya? Both do not suit me, I should do a little bit more, or I will end up having all these nicknames. How you want people to quote you at the end of the day?

Busy Life

For this period of time, I have been busy with work. Everyday, I leave home 7:00AM and back home 9:00PM. I hardly read bible or pray. My life is just robotically operating. With my hardwork to my job, I expect appreciation and reward but nothing happen.

On the other hand, I am away from God. My mind is filled with all the earthly stuff such as house and car. Planning and calculating the cost to buy a house and a second car while planning to get marriage soon, all these are dream keep in mind of my financial status.

(Haggai 1:9-11) "You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?" declares the LORD Almighty. "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on men and cattle, and on the labor of your hands."

Do you belief the heaven will release their dew and the earth its crops if you put the priority to built the house of God first?

Da Vinci Code

It has been a long period of time since my last writing. My spiritual life is down turn. I hardly read bible. Since I joined my new company at the end of April, I had been busy during working hours and tired after working hours. Last week, I was sick for the whole week though I still go to work. The Lord Jesus Christ is so far away. Life without Him seem nothing different.

The movie "Da Vinci Code" was started to be show in cinema since last couple of days. The main idea delivered by the author is "Jesus is merely a mortal man." If it is true, what for I believe in him, there are plentiful of religion out there founded by man. If he is a mortal man, who is going to overcome death and give eternal life? And I will be terminated or recycled to be something interesting after death.

However, nothing to convince you here from me. I just feel that there is a God. And I believe bible because people willing to die proclaiming it is true. Are you willing to die for the benefit of the church? I guess I will not. But if I see a man killed and resurrect and rise to heaven by my eyes. I think I willing to die proclaiming what I see. Are you willing to die proclaiming "Da Vinci Code" is true?

Tough Day In Work

I have been working for one month. My job is tough. I have to finish assigned task before I can go back home. Today, I make a mistake and delete some record in database which is a data repository shared by everybody in my office. People start to trigger the loss of data. I confess myself when I know the data was loss. People were having problem the whole day. I am so sorry. But I didn't apologize to anyone because I have no chance to do that. My boss kept scolding me and kept apologize for me to others. Everyone seem troubled by me. In fact I haven't successfully built up any relationship with my colleagues due to my super heavy workload. I consider it super heavy because I found it is hard and difficult personally.

Today is a bad day, anyhow, I am used to scolding by people all day long. I found apologize useless. People just can't forgive. Some more, I am not very good in apologize. I think I am both pride and shy. Am I a fail product? I shouldn't think this way because this offence the creator. Everybody around me is tough? Or I am simply a failure? Or this is life for everyone? Do you see the reasoning behind this? Everybody making everyone life miserable. That is the reality of our world. I am sorry to ignore the second possibility. ^_^

(Leviticus 19:18) Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.

Pleasure of Serving

Though I am tight by work, I am serving in the house of the Lord too! I am not giving sermon; I am not chairing Sunday service; I am not leading praise and worship; I am not leading a care group. I am merely a ice breaking game master for one care group session only.

I look for a ice breaking game from the Internet, demonstrate the game process and prepare the material. All these took me around 2 hours. And the game session is around 15 minutes. By the grace of God, the game went as planned. People are responsive and open. They get to know some not so famous bible characters. The game serve the purpose of breaking people defensive mind set. The care group session end up with a lot of discussion and interaction between people.

Shaking Mind

Sometimes, it is kind of boring life. I would like a break of my life but it is running like a sport car on the high way. I can't stop it. There are too many thing in my life to be done. I feel like dragging and enslaved by my life. On the other hand, I feel guilty sitting doing nothing. It is a dilemma in my mind. I do not know how to describe the feeling.

I like to shake my leg. This become a bad habit for me. My legs will shaken by itself without my conscious. Sometimes, I just kidding of myself this is going to exercising my legs to circulate my blood. However, when it shaking non-stop, I start to feel tired but tell you what, I can't stop it. It is shaking by itself. Can you imagine how horrible it is when you can't even control your own legs? It continue shaking, you know my mind and my soul are shaking too! My mind and soul are uneasy, it is very messy. My mind and soul are shaken. This is not kidding. Now I know why my parents told me shaking legs is a bad habit. I don't agree and don't understand until now. It is true. And I also understand why God says, "(Psalm 46:10) Be still, and know that I am God."

The Definition of Love

Love is when you are tired and sleeping, you wake up to fetch someone.
Love is when you are tired and wanted to give up, you stand still not to disappointed someone.
Love is when you are sad, you comfort the one who make you sad.
Love is when you can buy a normal meal, you buy 2 cheap meal to share with somebody.
Love is when you are angry, you keep your anger not to hurt others.
Love is when you are wronged, you forgive.
Love is a routine of all these.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

How much you love?