I am almost fired today. Over the last 4 months, I have no commitment to my company at last. I merely work day by day. Going off regardless pending task to be completed. I am not responsible at all. Yet my boss spend 3 hours to talk to me. I have nothing to say. I am now a bad testimony to my colleagues. The only way out is to give my best, or I am going to have a worse testimony to my colleagues.
Besides giving my best, I have other option. I can start to blame everybody, everything and blame God, then resign, then continue my misery journey of life and walking like a corpse.
But I am not going to repeat my failure, I am living for some purpose. I am assigned to work and want to do a good job. It is not going to be funny if I continue my misery journey. Let me have my passion back to work like dying instead of die in misery. Either way, I am going to die, you know. God is not going to be funny like this, "Well done, you are the most misery creation I ever create."
(Matthew 25:14-30) Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'
His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'
His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'
His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
You know, I have been the third servant all these time. I urge you to be the first servant.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Working Adult Camp
I just went back from a working adult camp organized by my church at Fraser Hill, Pahang, Malaysia. Before the camp, I was having a tough time in my workplace. My work is not meeting the expectation. I thought I have put my best effort on it, yet it is not meeting the requirement or expectation. Frustration and disappointment start to attack me. I am planning to resign or in other word - give up. It is kind of defeated by the challenge of my work.
As a negative person, I can extend a little frustration and disappointment in life into meaningless life. That is why recently I feel so tired to do anything. I try to find satisfaction from computer game, Internet, etc but I failed. All of these doesn't kindle my passion. I feel like a walking corpse.
In the camp, I was no passion to relate myself to anybody too. The purpose I participate is to take a break of my boring life. During the camp, pastor mentioned a lot of my symptom. He said I need to check my relationship with God. Pastor is correct. It was a long period of time since I last read bible. It was even longer since I last pray. I think this should be the source of my problem. Because when I fill my mind with the Lord Jesus Christ, it make more sense to live. In the bible said:
(Ecclesiastes 1:1-11) The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:
"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say,
"Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered by those who follow.
(Ecclesiastes 12:13-14) Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
Though everything is meaningless, God is the only exception. He is meaningful because he is going to judge what we did in this meaningless world at the end of the day.
As a negative person, I can extend a little frustration and disappointment in life into meaningless life. That is why recently I feel so tired to do anything. I try to find satisfaction from computer game, Internet, etc but I failed. All of these doesn't kindle my passion. I feel like a walking corpse.
In the camp, I was no passion to relate myself to anybody too. The purpose I participate is to take a break of my boring life. During the camp, pastor mentioned a lot of my symptom. He said I need to check my relationship with God. Pastor is correct. It was a long period of time since I last read bible. It was even longer since I last pray. I think this should be the source of my problem. Because when I fill my mind with the Lord Jesus Christ, it make more sense to live. In the bible said:
(Ecclesiastes 1:1-11) The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:
"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say,
"Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered by those who follow.
(Ecclesiastes 12:13-14) Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
Though everything is meaningless, God is the only exception. He is meaningful because he is going to judge what we did in this meaningless world at the end of the day.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Friend Leave
Yesterday is the last day of one of my colleague. He is a very nice and humble guy. I am shock to know his resignation news from others 2 days before his last day. For my surprise, he had tendered his resignation 6 weeks ago. He went into the company 1 month after me.
During my last employment, there were couple of close colleagues left one by one. Everytime people leave, I feel sad. This is because I treasure and appreciate very much whoever come into my life to share part of my life. It make my life not so lonely and boring. Friend leave make me feel like losing a friend. Anyway, in this busy city, we are not likely to meet again.
I want to wish him all the best in his life and career. ^_^
During my last employment, there were couple of close colleagues left one by one. Everytime people leave, I feel sad. This is because I treasure and appreciate very much whoever come into my life to share part of my life. It make my life not so lonely and boring. Friend leave make me feel like losing a friend. Anyway, in this busy city, we are not likely to meet again.
I want to wish him all the best in his life and career. ^_^
Monday, July 03, 2006
Choices
Today is Sunday. After church service, Carmen and I have nothing to do. We went to KFC to have our lunch. During lunch, we have a wonderful conversation worth sharing here. I asked, “Where do you want to go?” She answered, “I don't know.” I said, “We seem very free while all of our friend struggling to gain more money even during weekend.” She agreed, “Yes, we should put some effort to make our life better by working part-time.” “No.” I said, “We will be swallowed by busyness if we do.” In my heart, I think, “Or we are being swallowed by poverty.” What is your choice? Busyness or poverty.
In the world, we have no much choice. Most of the time, all available options are not what we desire. We merely choose the not so bad option. I don't know, I have giving my best during weekday. I need a break during weekend. This way, I am not going to excel in term of any achievement in the world, and I am not really excelling in the service for God either. I am merely living a passive life as a ordinary man. May be God's purpose for me is becoming a ordinary man “successfully”. May be I have to do something more, or people will quote me “The most ordinary man in the world” after I die. Or “The most ordinary Christian in the world”, this one sound better, ya? Both do not suit me, I should do a little bit more, or I will end up having all these nicknames. How you want people to quote you at the end of the day?
In the world, we have no much choice. Most of the time, all available options are not what we desire. We merely choose the not so bad option. I don't know, I have giving my best during weekday. I need a break during weekend. This way, I am not going to excel in term of any achievement in the world, and I am not really excelling in the service for God either. I am merely living a passive life as a ordinary man. May be God's purpose for me is becoming a ordinary man “successfully”. May be I have to do something more, or people will quote me “The most ordinary man in the world” after I die. Or “The most ordinary Christian in the world”, this one sound better, ya? Both do not suit me, I should do a little bit more, or I will end up having all these nicknames. How you want people to quote you at the end of the day?
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