Hope of Christmas

I have been lazy, demotivated for a long period of time. It seem nothing bring me excitement. I have no passion of doing anything. I am not sure what happen to me. But I am sure something goes wrong. haha.

I am having a new job, new task waiting for me to accomplish. I am getting marriage next year, tons of task pending for me to be done for the marriage. Nothing good for me to do for the kingdom of god at this moment. aha. I must do all this. What is my hobby? What is my interest? Hobby and interest is luxury for me.

This morning, pastor said, if you found yourself with the above mentioned symptom, chances are you feel hopeless of life. haha. There are so many task for me to do and I will found satisfaction of accomplishment of all these. How come I am hopeless? And the pastor said, all these satisfactions or happiness are temporary. All will come to past and you will feel emptiness again. Sound right but that is the concept of life, isn't it?

The pastor continue to speak, "Christmas give us a hope that after this life we will have eternal life together with Jesus Christ." Oh, that sound great. May be I should focus more on eternal life. In fact I receive all these message in a asleep condition. haha.

First Day in New Company

Today is the first day I report to a new company. My boss is friendly and give me some work to do. I am given the opportunity to estimate my time for a project. I am given a lot of freedom on how I can do my work. I wish I can do it right and fast. My boss' objective is fast and working no matter how you do it. It is the reality of the business world which is contradict to artistic programming. Work worth nothing if it is not selling at the right time with a right price. May Jesus guide me through this.

Farewell

I have leave my job that last 9 months. I get to know some wonderful friends in these 9 months. They made my life in 2006 colourful and memorable. Some of them just highly skillful in programming. Some of them are good leader. Some of them are good cheer leader. Some of them are sensational. All of them are friendly and helpful. I felt really good to be with them and felt 9 months are too short.

Some of them stay, some of them left, some of them leaving. What a variable world. Seem nothing is lasting.

At the last day of my job, I wrote a farewell letter to all of them to show my appreciation too. I did gain a lot of technical skill and working experience from the job but I value the friendship the most. However, I am really bad at maintaining human relationship.

Final Destination 3

I seldom have time for entertainment but I watched movie again. The movie named "Final destination 3". The story is simple, a girl have illusion before she is going to ride on a roller coaster that the roller coaster will crash and all the people die. She get off and warned, some people get off after her warning, other went on. The roller coaster crashed and the people die. All the survivors die within a short period of time too. The story depict death as the final destination no matter how your life is.

We know all people surely die one day. No one can escape. Bible says (Genesis 2:16) And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." This is because human commit sin or disobey God's command that we will surely die. What a stupid ancestor of ours but we repeat this generation by generation.

But here come the gospel (John 3:16) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Demolition Man

I watched this movie recently. It was starred by x and y. The background is year 2032. The community is straightly controlled. No flirt languages, no seasoning on food, no kiss, no sexual intercourse. Police have no experience to fight against crime because there are no crime for last 20 years. There is no choice on restaurant because it is controlled. People have no choice on food because of health control. Couples enjoy sexual pleasure using visual reality devices to avoid disease.

The movie remind me of my old question against Christianity. (Genesis 2:16-17) And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."

I think God have the choice to create a perfect world without sin. He can create man such a way that man is not possible to sin. However, this is equivalent to create machine. God want to create living man with free will. He did give warning that certain action is no good but harmful. All is our choice. We should be grateful to have choice or else can you imagine how boring?

After Resignation

I felt very weird after resignation. To describe the feeling, I would say like a person knowing that he has cancer and going to die very soon.

I started to interact with the people around me, started to join lunch session, started to tell joke, started to have a short chat and concern other people condition and feeling. Before resignation, I had focus all my strength and time on my work. I regret because I wasted so much time to make wonderful friend around. I started to enjoy the companion of the people around, started to feel like a human being instead of a working machine.

Please appreciate the companion of the people around. You may miss their smiley face for a long period of time or forever.

Evangelic fund raising campaign

My church are organizing old newspaper collection campaign. I have plenty of old newspaper at home. Before going to church, I needs to bring all old newspaper from my 5th floor apartment to my car. The point is my apartment has no lift. It took my 5 trips to finish all the old newspaper. On the way, I was thinking to ask my neighbor for their old newspaper but I failed to do so because I do not really know all of them. The money gained from the campaign will be used for evangelic ministry at Pakistan.

The next Sunday, children below 10 years old are organizing a game to raise evangelic fund too. They make a big net and filled the net with a lot of plastic balls. People who give a dollar will have a chance to guess the number of ball in the net. The winner will bring back home a standing lamp. What a wonder effort make by them.

Job Resignation

After working 7 months with my current employer, one day, a friend of mine just appear in my life and invite me for a job interview. The interview went well. The company decided to employ me. I have a new job offer now. Considering the opportunities and the pay, I decided to resign. The resignation went well too. Everything went just well beyond my expectation and preparation. The feeling is like following a path which is well-prepared. All these things happen within a week. I am amazed and a little lost.

After the first interview, I give 15% more on my tithe. The result is I get 15% more on my current salary. I know God is faithful and accurate before I give because I experience this 2 times before.

(Malachi 3:9-11) You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty.

Husband and Wife Relationship

I am about to getting marriage. In fact, it is scheduled on next year July. I have been in courtship for more than 4 years. It is honeymoon year for the first year as usual. Start from second year, argument started. Its severity raises over time. What I see on this is a process of uniting with other totally different person. And it is positive and constructive against a person maturity and characteristic. The process is quite painful as some people feel sad, some people get hurt emotionally, some people get hurt physically, and even committed suicide. I am a blessed one because I am a Christian. I get comforts, supports, principles, and solutions from my belief or my God.

I expect this process will continue until I die. Should I still committed to get marriage and jump into this life long painful process? Yes, I do. Because I want to become a better man and make a little contribution to world population. There are so many good reasons for me to jump into this trap only married people know. Of course I want to love my wife. ^_^

(Genesis 2:20-24) But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman', for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Aside, let's imagine how painful to put taken rib back into the body given the rib had been turned into a woman. Or how painful to fit yourself into a human body as a rib. For male, in case you try to put different ribs one after another, your wound will become worse and worse. In case you try to put in more than one ribs at the same time, it is equivalent to commit suicide I think. For female, in case you want to try other human body, you need to kill the first body to try the second. I better stop here. Wish all married people follow the rules, do the right things and enjoy the process.

Former Colleague Wedding Banquet

I attended a former colleague wedding banquet last week. I meet some of my former colleague in the banquet. The familiarity feeling is so warm. We talk about nonsense, career, family, marriage and meet one another partner. It is so good to see them again. Life is short to meet up with wonderful people. Catching up with them, I found their life is as wonderful as mine. As a Christian, I am not able to propose a better life for them. As God said in bible, (Jeremiah 29:11) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” May be I am not committed myself enough to live a wonderful church life.

Grandfather Gift

There is a sales of chair made of rope and bamboo. Old people like this kind of chair very much. Me either. I thought of buy one for my grandfather.

Let me have a little introduction of my grandfather. For reader of previous post, this guy is not husband of my grandmother. He is father of my mother. My grand mother is mother of my father. My grandfather is a person who is extremely introvert. He seldom speak. In fact if you do not speak to him, he will not speak at all. Even though you speak to him, you have to hit his mood or you hit a wall.

Back to the bamboo chair. I budget RM20-RM30 for the chair, then I went off and have a look. I decided to buy a small one which is RM45 but the boss suggest a bigger and more comfortable one after I told him it is for my grandfather. He said it is hard for a old people to get up from a small chair because their legs are not as strong. So I ended up with a RM70 chair.

I brought home and present to my grandfather. At first, he ask me to give it to my grandmother. But at last he receive it. He like the chair very much. And he tell me tomorrow is his birthday. He took the chair happily as his 71st birthday gift. The most important thing is he present his annual smiley.

Grandmother Fall Sick

My grandmother was not able to eat anything for 4 days. She was brought to hospital and having operation on the night too. She said she was not afraid. Her body became like skeleton after the operation. She was reported to have cancer. I prayed for her during the night she was operated.

After her operation, my aunt taking very good care of her. All diet is controlled. She is having best treatment in my aunt place. She feel good and feel no pain. According to her, some sick of her skin disappear after the operation. I do not know how true is this because my grandmother always tell the good side of the truth. However, she seem very good every time I see her. Her body also recover and look better now compare to the time right after the operation.

Thank God for his healing of my grandmother.

Job Confirmation

It has been 6 months since I first join the company. My performance is not so good at the beginning the this period. My boss gave me warning at the right time. His warning awaken me and let me know that this is not the right way. This week, I have been confirmed by my employer. My boss has a appraisal session with me. He express his appreciation toward my work attitude and improvement. I felt good and happy though it has no salary increment upon confirmation.

In fact, the most important achievement for myself is my working attitude and responsibility. I have been commented on the issue previously because of my negative and lay back working attitude. As everyone know I am a Christian, I do not want people to think what a Christian as lazy as me. So I work to my best to prevent people thinking bad about Jesus Christ. I have been trying hard on this and hope to continue glorify God in this way. It is really not easy as for me because I used to relax and lay back.

At the end the this writing, do you know what verses I get from the bible?

(Ephesians 2:8-9) For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.

Working and Living

I am a programmer. What I do as a programmer is sitting on my desk all day long. My computer is connected to Internet, I can surf Web, chatting, blogging or do whatever I like. But I have better things to do which is my work.

Last Friday, my boss suddenly stand behind me asking me of my work. I do not know how long he standing behind me because I am focusing on my work. In fact I do not surf Web, chatting or blogging in office at all. I think it is not right though I feel like it. So I end up spend a lot on my Internet bill connecting at home.

Back to the topic, if I am doing my personal stuffs in office, the first result is my tasks are not going to be done at the end of the day. It is totally my fault withdrawing salary every end of the month, using office resources for my own pleasure and tasks given is not done.

As my own evaluation, my work is not very good. Though I try my very best and spend the longest hours I can to complete my task, but I am not able to complete all my tasks on time flawlessly. It is very tiring and discouraging in this way.

In Christian point of view, we must keep living a good life and be faithful on every aspect of my life. Because the life we have are given by God and belongs to Him. He will surely come and ask, "How is your life?". It is not a casual greeting anymore. It is a request of a boss of your work progress report. Beware and keep watching all the time. Do you know what bible said about this?

(Matthew 24:42-44) Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

For me, it is tiring and extremely tension. I think it is worthy to be tiring and extremely tension for at most 100 years and have eternal life. As recorded in Bible, eternal life is better than the life we have now.

(Revelation 21:1-4) Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

The main point here is there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain; the sub point is there was no longer any sea, which is new idea for me. ^_^

Basketball Session

I went to play basketball last Sunday with my church brothers. This activity is so special that it made me felt out of my routine life. It was quite a long time since my last exercise. Tell you what, I was only be able to sustain for 10 minutes. Two of my church brothers who are elder than me is still playing full of energy. My muscle still feeling pain until now after 2 days. Come to think of my performance, I have 0 point, 0 steal, 0 block and may be 3 rebounds for the whole activity. I must play better next time.

Performance aside, it is good to interact with human being after long period of regular computing. People is very supportive though I was not doing well. I found one of my weakness is I do not actually mind of win or loss. I think I must improve on this.

One of the brother kindly and sincerely asked me to join the kid game. I tried to take that as a joke but I seriously felt that he was sincere. Too bad. One of my teammate refuse to change team though we loss. I appreciate his faith and trust on me, I should had done better. Am I still writing on performance?

Anyway, I enjoyed the session and hope to built up the fellowship regardless my busy and tiring city life.

(Proverbs 18:24) A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

I read this, “Instead of wishing you could find a true friend, seek to become one.”

Worrying Mind

I have been working and worrying too much lately. Draining all my energy into work. I have been working from 8:00am - 9:00pm everyday last 2 weeks. I feel exhausted and need a break.

Thank God that today is the Sabbath day he prepared, I am able to relax myself to check email and blogging here.

Lately, I received negative review from my superior. So I try harder to do my work but it seem like I am burning myself and my work is still no good. One voice telling me to be more responsible in work; another voice ask me to take a break. I am confused. I think I need some time to think about it. Burn out is no fun. Anyway, I think I must be responsible for work and responsible to take care of myself to avoid burn out as well. It is all about balance. Let see what interesting will happen to me. Life is unexpectable. Let me try to forget yesterday, ignore tomorrow and focus on today. May be it will help.

Workmanship

I am almost fired today. Over the last 4 months, I have no commitment to my company at last. I merely work day by day. Going off regardless pending task to be completed. I am not responsible at all. Yet my boss spend 3 hours to talk to me. I have nothing to say. I am now a bad testimony to my colleagues. The only way out is to give my best, or I am going to have a worse testimony to my colleagues.

Besides giving my best, I have other option. I can start to blame everybody, everything and blame God, then resign, then continue my misery journey of life and walking like a corpse.

But I am not going to repeat my failure, I am living for some purpose. I am assigned to work and want to do a good job. It is not going to be funny if I continue my misery journey. Let me have my passion back to work like dying instead of die in misery. Either way, I am going to die, you know. God is not going to be funny like this, "Well done, you are the most misery creation I ever create."

(Matthew 25:14-30) Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'

His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

You know, I have been the third servant all these time. I urge you to be the first servant.

Working Adult Camp

I just went back from a working adult camp organized by my church at Fraser Hill, Pahang, Malaysia. Before the camp, I was having a tough time in my workplace. My work is not meeting the expectation. I thought I have put my best effort on it, yet it is not meeting the requirement or expectation. Frustration and disappointment start to attack me. I am planning to resign or in other word - give up. It is kind of defeated by the challenge of my work.

As a negative person, I can extend a little frustration and disappointment in life into meaningless life. That is why recently I feel so tired to do anything. I try to find satisfaction from computer game, Internet, etc but I failed. All of these doesn't kindle my passion. I feel like a walking corpse.

In the camp, I was no passion to relate myself to anybody too. The purpose I participate is to take a break of my boring life. During the camp, pastor mentioned a lot of my symptom. He said I need to check my relationship with God. Pastor is correct. It was a long period of time since I last read bible. It was even longer since I last pray. I think this should be the source of my problem. Because when I fill my mind with the Lord Jesus Christ, it make more sense to live. In the bible said:

(Ecclesiastes 1:1-11) The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:
"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."

What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?

Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.

The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.

The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.

All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.

To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.

All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.

The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

Is there anything of which one can say,
"Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.

There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered by those who follow.

(Ecclesiastes 12:13-14) Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

Though everything is meaningless, God is the only exception. He is meaningful because he is going to judge what we did in this meaningless world at the end of the day.

Friend Leave

Yesterday is the last day of one of my colleague. He is a very nice and humble guy. I am shock to know his resignation news from others 2 days before his last day. For my surprise, he had tendered his resignation 6 weeks ago. He went into the company 1 month after me.

During my last employment, there were couple of close colleagues left one by one. Everytime people leave, I feel sad. This is because I treasure and appreciate very much whoever come into my life to share part of my life. It make my life not so lonely and boring. Friend leave make me feel like losing a friend. Anyway, in this busy city, we are not likely to meet again.

I want to wish him all the best in his life and career. ^_^

Choices

Today is Sunday. After church service, Carmen and I have nothing to do. We went to KFC to have our lunch. During lunch, we have a wonderful conversation worth sharing here. I asked, “Where do you want to go?” She answered, “I don't know.” I said, “We seem very free while all of our friend struggling to gain more money even during weekend.” She agreed, “Yes, we should put some effort to make our life better by working part-time.” “No.” I said, “We will be swallowed by busyness if we do.” In my heart, I think, “Or we are being swallowed by poverty.” What is your choice? Busyness or poverty.

In the world, we have no much choice. Most of the time, all available options are not what we desire. We merely choose the not so bad option. I don't know, I have giving my best during weekday. I need a break during weekend. This way, I am not going to excel in term of any achievement in the world, and I am not really excelling in the service for God either. I am merely living a passive life as a ordinary man. May be God's purpose for me is becoming a ordinary man “successfully”. May be I have to do something more, or people will quote me “The most ordinary man in the world” after I die. Or “The most ordinary Christian in the world”, this one sound better, ya? Both do not suit me, I should do a little bit more, or I will end up having all these nicknames. How you want people to quote you at the end of the day?

Busy Life

For this period of time, I have been busy with work. Everyday, I leave home 7:00AM and back home 9:00PM. I hardly read bible or pray. My life is just robotically operating. With my hardwork to my job, I expect appreciation and reward but nothing happen.

On the other hand, I am away from God. My mind is filled with all the earthly stuff such as house and car. Planning and calculating the cost to buy a house and a second car while planning to get marriage soon, all these are dream keep in mind of my financial status.

(Haggai 1:9-11) "You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?" declares the LORD Almighty. "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on men and cattle, and on the labor of your hands."

Do you belief the heaven will release their dew and the earth its crops if you put the priority to built the house of God first?

Da Vinci Code

It has been a long period of time since my last writing. My spiritual life is down turn. I hardly read bible. Since I joined my new company at the end of April, I had been busy during working hours and tired after working hours. Last week, I was sick for the whole week though I still go to work. The Lord Jesus Christ is so far away. Life without Him seem nothing different.

The movie "Da Vinci Code" was started to be show in cinema since last couple of days. The main idea delivered by the author is "Jesus is merely a mortal man." If it is true, what for I believe in him, there are plentiful of religion out there founded by man. If he is a mortal man, who is going to overcome death and give eternal life? And I will be terminated or recycled to be something interesting after death.

However, nothing to convince you here from me. I just feel that there is a God. And I believe bible because people willing to die proclaiming it is true. Are you willing to die for the benefit of the church? I guess I will not. But if I see a man killed and resurrect and rise to heaven by my eyes. I think I willing to die proclaiming what I see. Are you willing to die proclaiming "Da Vinci Code" is true?

Tough Day In Work

I have been working for one month. My job is tough. I have to finish assigned task before I can go back home. Today, I make a mistake and delete some record in database which is a data repository shared by everybody in my office. People start to trigger the loss of data. I confess myself when I know the data was loss. People were having problem the whole day. I am so sorry. But I didn't apologize to anyone because I have no chance to do that. My boss kept scolding me and kept apologize for me to others. Everyone seem troubled by me. In fact I haven't successfully built up any relationship with my colleagues due to my super heavy workload. I consider it super heavy because I found it is hard and difficult personally.

Today is a bad day, anyhow, I am used to scolding by people all day long. I found apologize useless. People just can't forgive. Some more, I am not very good in apologize. I think I am both pride and shy. Am I a fail product? I shouldn't think this way because this offence the creator. Everybody around me is tough? Or I am simply a failure? Or this is life for everyone? Do you see the reasoning behind this? Everybody making everyone life miserable. That is the reality of our world. I am sorry to ignore the second possibility. ^_^

(Leviticus 19:18) Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.

Pleasure of Serving

Though I am tight by work, I am serving in the house of the Lord too! I am not giving sermon; I am not chairing Sunday service; I am not leading praise and worship; I am not leading a care group. I am merely a ice breaking game master for one care group session only.

I look for a ice breaking game from the Internet, demonstrate the game process and prepare the material. All these took me around 2 hours. And the game session is around 15 minutes. By the grace of God, the game went as planned. People are responsive and open. They get to know some not so famous bible characters. The game serve the purpose of breaking people defensive mind set. The care group session end up with a lot of discussion and interaction between people.

Shaking Mind

Sometimes, it is kind of boring life. I would like a break of my life but it is running like a sport car on the high way. I can't stop it. There are too many thing in my life to be done. I feel like dragging and enslaved by my life. On the other hand, I feel guilty sitting doing nothing. It is a dilemma in my mind. I do not know how to describe the feeling.

I like to shake my leg. This become a bad habit for me. My legs will shaken by itself without my conscious. Sometimes, I just kidding of myself this is going to exercising my legs to circulate my blood. However, when it shaking non-stop, I start to feel tired but tell you what, I can't stop it. It is shaking by itself. Can you imagine how horrible it is when you can't even control your own legs? It continue shaking, you know my mind and my soul are shaking too! My mind and soul are uneasy, it is very messy. My mind and soul are shaken. This is not kidding. Now I know why my parents told me shaking legs is a bad habit. I don't agree and don't understand until now. It is true. And I also understand why God says, "(Psalm 46:10) Be still, and know that I am God."

The Definition of Love

Love is when you are tired and sleeping, you wake up to fetch someone.
Love is when you are tired and wanted to give up, you stand still not to disappointed someone.
Love is when you are sad, you comfort the one who make you sad.
Love is when you can buy a normal meal, you buy 2 cheap meal to share with somebody.
Love is when you are angry, you keep your anger not to hurt others.
Love is when you are wronged, you forgive.
Love is a routine of all these.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

How much you love?

The Formula between Job Salary and Tithing

I start working one and a half year ago. After I work, I return the tithe to God. (Tithe is 10% of income. Christian believe it is belongs to God and should give back to church.) My salary figure is not rounded to hundred, so I round it myself because it is so trouble some to put small change into the tithing bag. And I do not think I have the time to make the change myself while the tithing bag is passing around. So I give10.23%.

After 6 months, God is faithful. He rounded my salary with a increment of 2.27%. So I give exactly 10% of my salary now. My salary never adjusted by then. Because of my unfaithfulness I stop giving tithe for 2 months. Guess what. God stop my salary also. Ok Ok, I surrender to you. I give back the tithe to God. This time I give 14.44% because my father on earth help me in car payment this month. Guess what. God increase my salary with 44.44%. God is very exact in figure isn't it? Is it a testimony? I bet yes. Let do some testing on this formula and manipulate your income.

(Malachi 3:10) “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” say the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”

Book Store Navigation

I went to book store and browse around for 3 hours. First I went to information technology book section and looking around. There are a number of book shelf with different categories of information technology books. I am interested in programming and database though sometimes imagine myself as a hacker and have a glimpse over networking books. Oracle database skills have a good market value over others, so I was considering to study a Oracle book to improve my resume. At the same time, I was considering having a programming book for a project. In fact I am in debt and I do not want to spend anymore money other than on food. I desperately want to improve myself at this critical moment (jobless). But normally I will not spend and save money for food. I was on the fence. Finally I bought the programming book.

I had been changed. I no longer bond by my financial condition. If I do not give up the little amount of money, I will never grow and advance. In my heart I just believe God will provide what I need. I do not need to worry. I just live my normal life.

(Proverbs 30:8-9) Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

Life After Resignation (Day 7)

Today is the seventh day after my resignation. Everyday I wake up around 10 AM, then I will make myself a breakfast. It is customized spicy noodle that suite my taste perfectly. But I do not know how long I will like it. After that, I will wash my clothes. I do not normally wash my clothes. It is either bring back to be washed by my father or my girlfriend will wash for me. I have no washing machine. Now I wash it myself.

My life still full of challenge. I am going to play guitar in my Christian fellowship group today. I download the songs and the chord sheet which take me a day to complete. Then I try very hard to practice since I have not play for around 3 years. My fingers feel pain after playing for an hour. There are 5 songs tonight but I am only able to play 3 songs.

Besides, I start to contact back my old friends by Internet. Before I do not actually have the time to write email and chat to them. Suddenly, my sky become bigger. Last week, one of my old friend is getting marriage. I attended the wedding dinner and have a nice time with a group of old friends. Friendship is not a strange word to me as in before.

This is only the first week after resignation. By my estimation, my cash balance can last me one month. I have no choice but to borrow money from my family to survive. There is a old saying that say, “Life have up and down.” This is the first down turn of my life, I believe there are more to come in the future. I have to learn how to go through this valley of my life and stand up again. My heart is peace, I realizes that nothing really bad can happen. I had been used to people comment and despising eyes. It did not do any harm to me actually.

(Psalm 23:4) Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Life After Resignation

I start to apply for job. There are quite a lot of option in the market but there are even more applicant. A job is applied by more than 100 peoples normally. I have no Internet connection at home and no transport. I have to walk 20 minutes for a cybercafe for Internet. I did it. I do not really can cook and saving money in case jobless for a long time so I skip my lunch. Though the situation is not very good I continue my journey as a IT professional. I continue to study about database which is the area I was work in. Am I right in the direction? I do not know.

(Exodus 12:37-39) The Israelites journeyed from Rameses to Succoth. There were about six hundred thousand men on foot, besides women and children. Many other people went up with them, as well as large droves of livestock, both flocks and herds. With the dough they had brought from Egypt, they baked cakes of unleavened bread. The dough was without yeast because they had been driven out of Egypt and did not have time to prepare food for themselves.

Resignation

I have tendered my resignation to my company. During the 1 year and 5 months in this employment, I tried my best in my works. No regret and no shame. But I have higher priority than that. I have my commitment to church. I do not want to fill my time with work, but wish to work something out for God. My commitment to company was doubted then. In fact it is not doubted but it is a known issue, because I make it known. I am not willing to work overtime for company. I want to participate church activity. There is a choice between church and company. When it crash, I start to lose heart to my work.

What I was doing for this 1 year and 5 months is work and only work. It seems meaningless. It does reduce my parents' burden and grew me technically. However, I believe these are not the purposes of God on me. Let me try another way with another two years of my life. Oh no, I do not have enough two years for me to test out. Anyway, since it is not right now, I have to get back and start all over again. The lesson learned is get a job which is not so demanding since career is not my main purpose of life. I used to be a workaholic but it seem not the right way to live. I wish my future employer will not see this. ^_^

(Exodus 6:6-8) Therefore, say to the Israelites: “I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the Lord.”

Egypt is a powerful, rich and prosper nation. It is really good and enjoyable to live, but only if you are Egyptian. I am not.

Church Membership

I am having an interview to become a member of my church. If success, I will become the member of the church. I will try my best to grow together with the church and contribute myself to the church.

A church is a group of people gather together because of their faith in Jesus Christ as their savior. The reason they gather together is to protect and support each other, then work together to get more people in by sharing gospel. We tell people that Jesus Christ is able to bring us to eternal life. There are a long story behind the fact beginning from Genesis when God create heaven and earth until the end of the day.

The first objective of my membership is evangelism. I must learn how to share the gospel. The technique I use to share gospel doesn't work. I must learn a proper way to share gospel or my Lord is being mocked.

Ok, let me tell you in short about the gospel. It sound like this, (John 3:16) “For God so love the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” If you are interesting in find out who is God? who is his one and only son? what to believe? why perish? what is eternal life? Please leave me a comment and I will reply here.

God Is Thinking

Departure of Friend

People come and go in my life. That is a very cruel fact to me. I do not like this fact of life. However, demanding people stay forever with me is just unrealistic. I myself do not able to stay or attend to everybody around me also. So the final principle I cultivate over this fact is seize the opportunity to have a great time with the people around me.

I am very shock and appreciate during the time I wanna leave Australia to go home after study. Over the last 2 weeks of my stay in Australia, I hardly spare some time because people around me treat me almost every meal. I am amaze for the people reaction over my departure. I think probably I really open my heart for the people around me.

Departure not necessary means a bad thing. It is just an experience of life. Besides, it is also a necessary step to move our life to another stage. No lost no gain. There are always better blessing and interesting challenges waiting in front of our path of life.

(Joshua 1:9) Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year is like a Grammy Award for me. People are comparing agaisnt each others performance over the year. Relatives agaisnt relatives, friends agaisnt friends, self agaisnt self.

Last year, I was the tail because I was just start working after finish studying. This year is a little bit better. I am able to pay all my personal bills. However I have nothing to dedicate to my family, absolutely nothing. I wish myself a fruitful year ahead. ^_^

My father like to encourage me extraordinarily. Quote of the year from him is, "See, you have not even spending a single penny through out the whole chinese new year celebration."

Seriously I should not wish myself a fruitful year, I should make it a fruitful year.

(Psalms 23:4) Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Thanksgiving

Everyone have own difficulty and problem in life. I am having a lot of problem in my life too. Sometimes, I just want to give up. Sometimes, I just keep complaining to God and keep asking why all this happen to me. The main problem in my life is lack of money. ^_^

Then God sent me a brother. He visit me for a dinner. During the dinner, he share his life experience to me. He start working at the age of thirteen. Since then he is financially independent from family. He does not has any education qualification. He start working in a supermarket and continue to be a sales person. His car was tolled because he does not pay the instalment. He has experience with only one dollar left and owe a lot of money to relatives.

God sent someone that suffering more than me and show me the life of others. People who they love is suffering in sick and pain. Some of them are eagerly looking for a suitable job.

God is teaching me a lesson of thankgiving. It is the opposite of complain. It can overcome complain. Life is not for me to complain, it is for me to enjoy and overcome.

(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Wandering Around

I was not working this morning. Although I had no transportation to go anywhere, I decided to went walking around because staying alone in a house without Internet is killing.

It was ten o'clock in the morning, the sun is shining. It was not very comfortable walking in the strong shining sun. I was sweating. I walked pass a stony path in a bush. The bush is half a metre tall. A man was walking in front of me slowly, I proposely kept a distance from him cause there were some crime nowaday on the newspaper.

After half an hour walk, I reached my destination - a comic shop. It was not open yet. So I continued my walk and look into every shop around the area. After one hour walk, I felt tired and stop to have a light breakfast. Then I went into the comic shop and read a comic.

After comic, I continued my walk without destination. I stop at a bus stop. A bus came and I took the bus. I enjoyed the 5 minutes journey on the bus very much. I end up in the second comic shop.

All was so common but it is worthy to be recorded because it is a special occasion out of my ordinary routine working life. I enjoyed the walk very much. This was my Sabbath.

(Genesis 2:2-3) By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

New Year Resolution

Every new year, people will have new year resolution. I really do not have any new year resolution. I was asked a question, "How long in advance are you planning your life?". Of course I do plan my life. My answer is daily, I plan my life day after day. If you ask me about next week, I have no idea. Now people start to talk about yearly plan!

However, it is good to have new year resolution so that at the end of the year I can evaluate my personal performance over the year. The first resolution is to get marry this year. This is a big one cause I really have to save a lot of money for this. It is like a mission impossible to me. Anyway this is the first resolution.

Second, I want to have 80% of church activities attendance. Last year, my attendance is around 30%. So I have plenty of hardwork and obstacle to overcome. Attend church activities is not a easy task in my environment since I am work tight, financially unstable, and physically unfit (sick and lazy).

Some people are having resolution to pick up some ministry in church. Me too but this have to depend on my second resolution. If I am not be able to attend church activities, how am I going to serve the church. Anyway, I do hope I can spend a little time to contribute to the growth and function of church.